Errant Thoughts
by Tavae Themisal
Summary: Chapter 14: Ani/Obi/SWTOR. No more need to be said.
1. Soul's Veiw

Standing here watching our children's children I hold you close and smile  
  
~~~~~ Just one of those pesky errant thoughts that stand between me and another chapter in my stories. It was screaming to be written. Better to get them out so that I am not so cluttered. This one I admit was inspired by thoughts of Anakin and Padme and what they would spend time doing in the afterlife (not to mention the ever looming threat of war that hangs over our heads).  
  
Am I a Star Wars junkie or what? 


	2. Stars in the Heart

STARS IN THE HEART

Each of you

My friends

My Family

And those I don't know

Each holds a place in my Heart

I look to the heavens

What do I see?

Millions of bright Jewels

All winking at me

The beauty of them

I smile

And realize that

As they burn there

So do you in my heart.

Darkness descends as I stand

Staring at stars that aren't

Wondering how I can

Reach ones that are

And get to the place I long to be.


	3. The Braid

It is the Master's job to rebraid this single lock. The whole thing is a ritual. A reaffirmation, if you will, of the commitment and bond between Master and Padawan. So why do I sit here doing the job myself? Simple. My master did not want me.

He probably did know that I noticed, but the first such time it was rebraided, his hands trembled ever so slightly. He had a far off look. Not to mention he was shielding his thoughts from me. I found that a little insulting. This was supposed to be a special moment between us and he couldn't even be fully present for it.

So now, here I sit, braiding it my self. He promised me he'd be here today to do it, but was called away suddenly by the council. Probably just another excuse not to be here to do it.

I reach the halfway point and rap a bit of string about the braid. That is how long it was originally. I realize that I have come a long way since being at the temple. None of it was terribly hard either. I'd have to say the hardest part is being my Master's apprentice.

Master. How I hate that word. It implies too much. Makes me feel like a slave again. I try not to dwell on it, but on a day like today I really do feel like one. Always taking orders and such, there are days I wish I would have been left to work for Watto.

I reach the end of the braid and tie it off just as Obi-Wan comes through the door. He probably doesn't even notice that it's already finished.

…….

"We have another mission, Anakin." I state as I notice he did not wait. He never does. When will he realize that things like that can wait? Probably never. He probably thought that I didn't even notice it. Like he thinks I didn't notice when he came to my shields the first time we rebraided it.

You can't not notice when someone of his strength runs into your barriers. It would be like missing the supernova of your system's star. I had my reasons for those barriers. He didn't need to see my misgivings over my training of him.

He just gives me an inquisitive look and waits for me to finish. Such a grown up façade for someone who never really had a chance to be a kid. He'll eventually learn real patience. "We're to protect Senator Amidala."


	4. This Little Light

He quickly began shoving things into a box. Not paying any attention to what it was or where he took it from. Not caring if he damaged irreplaceable items. At this point there was no time. HE was coming. HE would destroy it all the chance were given. Even now the sanctuary around him was crumbling, heralding HIS takeover of all. The boiling miasma that slipped through the cracks was reaching for him.

He stuck the very last thing he could fit in the box deep within the nest of the rest. The wall behind him melted into a pile of slag as he closed the box. Turning to face HIM, he hastily popped the box into his mouth and swallowed. "Bury me if you wish, m'lord, but my secrets stay with me."

The roiling black mass then resolved itself into a shape. The man saw himself, not as he was, but as he'd become.

He wept.

The darkness enveloped him, swallowing Anakin whole.

"I HATE YOU!" they both screamed.


	5. Force Bless the Republic

So a challenge at the beginning of this Errant Thought…Take the following bit of line from God Bless the USA' and apply it to your favorite character(s)… "If tomorrow all the things were gone, I'd worked for all my life and I had to start again…"

Here is my take from a couple of Chars as if it were a question posed to Senior Padawans sometime before their trials.

* * *

"So please meditate on this and get me an answer by the end of the week." The Master had noted the hand that went instantly into the air as she had finished the first part of the philosophical question. Sighing heavily she called upon the young man, "Padawan Jinn, I would think that you would take some time to think or meditate on this."

"Master the answer for me is simple. I would trust the Living Force to guide me to the path I am to take."

"And what about the Unifying Force?" she heard some of the other Seniors stifle a giggle as she asked this question.

He paused a moment in and continued. "In times where we are lost, uncertain where to step next, we should rely upon our strengths to see us through. As we all know I still need some…practice listening to the Unifying Force."

She nodded her head at his answer and smiled. "Well then. Everyone else, take your time and give me an answer that is true to yourself as Padawan Jinn here has come up with. As for you," she nodded to the back of the room, "I believe you just earned yourself some extra special tutelage until the assignment is due."

He turned his head to find the Grand Master clicking his way forward with his damnable walking stick.

* * *

Qui-gon watched as Obi-wan plugged away at the data pad. They hadn't been back to the temple long before they were dispatched on another assignment. But it had apparently been long enough for Obi-wan to pick up some of his assignments. "You should be concentrating on the mission, young one." He admonished the young-adult.

Obi-wan frowned. He hit the delete key as he looked up. "Sorry Master, it's just that this assignment is giving me disturbing dreams. I'd like to see it done so that I can fully focus on these negotiations."

Qui-gon's brow creased. "Which assignment is that?"

"The one from Master Nu, you know."

Qui-gon smirked at the memory of that one. "Ahh, yes I do. And what have you determined?"

"That it is the most vaping hard question to answer."

"Have you meditated on it as she suggested?"

"Yes." Came the clipped answer.

"Tell me."

"Okay so dreams were more of a misnomer, Master. The visions I have been shown are disturbing at best and pure torture at worst. I am trying to figure out how to best answer the question with all that I have seen." He wiped a hand down his face.

"It is in my experience that the simplest answer is often the best, my Padawan."

Obi-wan pursed his lips and then tapped in an answer and sent it on its way. Then noting his Master's curious look he answered. "I will do the best I can with the Sabacc cards I'm dealt and let the Force sort it out in the end."

"As cheeky as ever, young one."

Obi-wan smiled. "Now about Naboo…"

* * *

Anakin looked for Master Nu deep within the archive. He'd been back in from the front for a few moments when he received his back assignments. He much preferred to give his instructors answers in person when he could and being that he was only due to be here a few scant hours he needed to get this over with quickly. He finally found her with a Togruta near the very rear of the Archive. He got a nod in recognition and had to wait, impatiently on his part, for Master Nu to finish.

"Ahsoka, you will find what you need in these texts." She handed the youngling five data pads and shooed her on her way.

"Padawan Skywalker, how may I help you?"

"I have my answer for your philosophy question Master." He said with a slight bow.

"Oh, it seems that I should have a tie in answer speed then. Do tell."

He furrowed his brow at her attempt to engage him in further conversation about it, but ignored it. "Master, I would do everything in my power to make sure that a future where I lost everything did not happen." With that he quickly bowed, executed a snap turn and nearly ran from the Archive; leaving the Archivist with a million questions.


	6. Those I've Loved

Those I've loved-Regrets

Obi-wan-sometime after his exile to Tatooine

Mentor, father, friend. I found your death to be an ending and a beginning. I was both ready and not for the detachment that came. But I had thought you'd still be there to turn to if so needed. So now I regret. Regret the attachment that I formed with you and the pain it caused once it was thru. Regret the promise I made to train the boy. Regret that I failed your trust in me. All this I must release before we meet again.

Knight-Sister, Friend. My feelings ran deep despite your constant reminder of my failings. I regret that I did not tell you sooner and also realize that I would have regretted it if I had. I regret not trusting in your dedication to the order. Regret thinking ill of you for "making" the same mistake that I once did, and you berated me for.

Queen-Senator, Sister, Friend. I find that I held a place for you in my heart as well. Not the flame that I held for my Knight-Sister and not the same as the one for your friend. But a subtler kind. I regret that I did not tell you earlier that I knew. Regret the circumstances that led to your untimely demise. Regret that you will never be able to see your children grow into the great people I feel the will be.

Duchess, Love-Lost, Friend. I should have left the order for you. I regret that my loyalty was so split. Regret that my sense of duty was so much stronger than sense of self. Regret that even though I am still among the living that I will never be able to contact you again.

Padawan, Knight-Brother, Friend. The one I knew is dead. A shell in his place. The list of regrets I have for you so long that it could fill the Archive ten times over. I cannot impress upon you how much it hurts to know that I am the cause of the end of your life. I wish I could have, would have been more attached to you. I should have seen what was going on with you. Would, could, should. Oh how I miss you.


	7. Med Center

The specialist moved with a purpose down the halls of the med center. This blasted war had sent so many through the doors of the Integument Impairment Center that the regular citizens had started calling it the Burn Hospital, forgetting that burns weren't the only thing that ruined the flesh. She shook her head in disgust; there were some things that healers and medical droids should not attempt to repair. But the selfishness of some peoples attachments did not allow for the fact that their loved ones quality of life wouldn't be worth the credits that were required to continue it.

She was so absorbed in her woolgathering that she practically bounced off of the robed figures in front of her. As it was, she was saved from falling by a hand seizing her elbow.

"You should really watch where you are going." A soft, gravelly voice admonished her.

She looked to the speaker. "I beg pardon Master Jedi, but I was lost in my misgivings and juggling all this," she gestured at the mess of supplies on the floor, "to notice your presence. But I do ask that if the two of you are to be here that you change into more appropriate attire. Our patients have enough to worry about without coming into contact with microorganisms that are hitching a ride on your robes." She kneeled down to pick up her mess. "The locker room is to your right, third door on the left. I'll alert the chief that you two have arrived."

The one who had kept her from falling bent to help her. "You do not wish to know our names?" The tattooed one asked in a soothing manner.

Growing more irritated with the delay she snapped at the young Knight. "Not really, no. Your kind come through here all the time for training." She snatched the bandages from the other's hand and left the Jedi Knights to follow her directions or not as they pleased.


	8. Drinks

The bar tender saw the robes and knew that he would have to discreetly reach for the "special" tap. If anyone knew how often Jedi actually frequented his establishment, even incognito, many of his patrons would hightail it out. He most certainly did not need that. So as the ginger haired Jedi approached he discreetly swapped out the Corellian Brandy tap for the one that he had on hand for them. The young Knight faked a grimace of distaste and gave a nod to the bar tender to indicate his approval of the drink. He gave a barely perceptible nod back and smiled once he turned around. Force help him if anyone else found out he had tea on tap.


	9. Jedi Creed

Alright in the course of studying for my board, I crossed my mind that one of the items that I am studying could very well be adapted to fit a description of the Jedi. So bear with me if this sounds familiar to some and if you life by it already do not summarily execute me for the tinkering. Force Bless.

No one is more professional than I, I am a Jedi a keeper of the peace. As a Jedi I realize that I am a member of a time honored body, which is the backbone of the Republic. I am proud of the Jedi Knights and will at all times conduct myself so as to bring credit on the Knights, the Council and the Republic, no matter the situation in which I find myself. I will not use my status as Jedi to attain pleasure, profit or personal safety.

Competence is my watchword, my two basic responsibilities will always be uppermost in my mind; accomplishment of the mission and the welfare of my Padawan. I will strive to remain technically and stoically proficient. I am aware of my responsibilities as a Jedi Knight. I will fulfill my responsibilities inherent in that role. All Padawan's are entitled to outstanding guidance; I will provide that guidance. I know my Padawan and will always place their needs above my own. I will communicate consistently with my Padawan and never leave them uninformed. I will be fair an impartial when recommending both rewards and punishments.

Other masters will have maximum time to accomplish their duties; they will not have to accomplish mine. I will earn their respect and confidence as well as that of my Padawan. I will be loyal to those with whom I serve; seniors, peers and subordinates alike. I will exercise initiative by taking appropriate action in the absence of orders. I will not compromise my integrity nor my moral courage. I will not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals, Jedi Knights, keepers of the peace.

Again do not shoot me and note there was much of it that remained the same. I feel that there are sections that could be tweaked more but I did not want to lose the feel of the creed. I am nervous but I thought that this was something that could fit in very well with Jedi in general.


	10. Jaina

She starts awake. A silent scream choked down before it can escape. She isn't even sure when her meditation slipped from what it was to her most neglected need. She never recognized the fine line anymore; if she did she would bring herself to in less than a heartbeat.

A heart that is racing from the memory of living nightmare that she so recently endured. The one that she had yet to face and come to terms with. A tragedy that would take more years than she had to spare for it and so she attempted to bury it.

She is the Sword. There was no room in her life for sentiment. No time to face her emotions. Her life was about everyone else. Selflessness to a fault.

So she suffers in silence. Unable to tell the one person who knows and understands the pain she suffers, that she was the one to kill him. To let her niece know, that she too died that day.


	11. Ani and Obi at my work

Ever have those days where you wish your delusional thoughts/ideas were true. Every now and then, as I walk the halls where I work I pretend that one of the "Dream Team" is there with me. Wonder even what their reactions to some of the things I think or say would be. Heck I have a Vader helmet in my cubicle, I've often thought of having to try to explain that to them…

* * *

"Hey what's this?" Anakin asks as he picks it up and tosses it to Obi-wan. It falls short of the master's hands but doesn't hit the floor as he caught it with the Force.

Having just caught the latest MIB I choose the repeated line. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Well trust me you don't."

"But…"

"Anakin!" came the sharp reprimand from Obi-wan. "Drop the subject." He had moved over and was replacing the helmet from where his apprentice had snatched it. Apparently he had read the distress on my face as Anakin and I were bickering. Ever the gentleman he stepped in and put an end to it. "Some things are best left unknown."

I smiled at him weakly. "Thank you, Obi-wan." I had shown him some of the blue-rays already, purposely skipping Sith because he told me to. I told him that was where we would end then because he did not need to know how he died. He must have gotten put a little more together on seeing the helmet though as he seemed pensive as he put it in place.

I had insisted that they join me at my place of work because I hoped that it would have an effect on Anakin. It did. Not the one that I had hoped though.

"You guys keep these people alive?"

"And your healers do not?"

"But this is akin to torture."

I looked at him with a mix of pain and something else. "Better my sadistic side be used to help people get better and be able to have a semblance of the life they had prior to injury than to torture for the sick pleasure of it."

"But it is a perversion of the Force."

"So you believe, but when the time comes I hope that you learn the difference between perversion and will."

Obi-wan butted in again, sensing that I had revealed too much. "Perhaps we should be going for now."

* * *

Okay that was one of those things bumping around in my head again. There is still more, like what they would think of the automatic doors and a brief joke about mind tricks in the office but that is neither here nor there.


	12. Med Center 2

Bant and Barriss looked sidelong at each other as they followed the directions they were given. They were both taken aback at the apparent lack of respect the specialist in the hall had for them. "She was bordering on the edge of pure contempt there." Bant murmured so that only Barriss would hear.

"Yes, there seems to be some bitterness that she harbors." Came the soft reply.

They reached the locker room at this point and set to getting changed. Finding the simple top and trousers comfortable, albeit much more revealing than they were used to, they found an empty locker and placed their belongings in it. They returned to the hall to find a short, dark haired woman and a tall grey haired man in quiet conversation but obviously waiting for them.

"Master Jedi, welcome, I am Akikta. I am the Director here. You have already met my Sub-director Orenda. Please excuse her rudeness; she has been overworking herself of late."

The Young knights looked over to the mentioned woman. They both could tell she had some things she wanted to say, but was keeping them carefully reigned in. Then Bant spoke up. "It is quite alright. We took no offense."

There was a brief derisive snort but no other sound came from Orenda other than her cool statement. "I guess I'll have to start your little tour of our facilities."


	13. Orenda

A look into why Orenda is so irrtated at the presence of Jedi in her place of Employ.

"Oren...sweetheart come here now!" The girl peeked from her hiding place careful not to let her mother see her. She hid like this everythime they came to this district. It really annoyed her mother but she felt as safe as could be evertime they crossed the lines into the Temple district. She also hid in the same spot every time which her mother somehow forgot about everytime.

There was one other thing that happened everytime as well...and as if her thinking about it were the cue, a hand decended on her shoulder. A pair of mischevious hazel eyes twinkled at her. "Come youngling, you've worried your mother long enough."

She always liked it when this Jedi came to her mother's "rescue" and returned her to her distraught mother's side. As always her mother would pull her into a crushing hug and give a barely civilized thanks to the Jedi who retured her. In fact all she did was bow her head slightly and give a frigid "Master Jedi" and then cart Orenda home for the foregone lecture.

"Young lady, do NOT ever run from me in that area again. Those Jedi are wovles in sheeps clothing. They steal younglings like you to indoctrinate them into thier cult and a life of servitude."

She nodded each time. The kindly man who returned her to her mother didn't feel bad to her. In fact he seemed down right kind and selfless to her. It took a moment for her to realize that her mother had continued on her rant this time instead of cutting off. "You see your granparents thought that there was something different about your aunt and myself. They took us, kept her but sent me away. Then when I took you...they didn't even give you the bloood test...just turned me away despite what i had told no one but them. You don't even know this but...your Aunt isn't the only member of our family living in that blasted place. Your father is one of them too. A blasted one-night stand when I was still young and dumb my dear. I took you ther in hopes that they would accept you into thier ranks and you would have a better life than I do. Instead all they saw was the fact that your are of blood of two of thier members. They turned you away when it would have been in your best interests to get trained."

Orenda's jaw dropped. Her mother had just as much told her that she had family she would never know. It was just that way with the Order. Once a person was taken from thier family they were never contacted by that family member again. She would never get the chance to know her father or her Aunt. Then there was the issue of her 'talents' she always wondered why she seemed to be able to read people so well. She also always healed faster than other kids her age. She could have sworn that she had even helped someone else heal faster one time, but she wasn't entirely sure of that. All she knew that she did want to use whatever it was to help people. And now she knew why.

She looked into her mother's eyes and said with conviction. "Dont worry momma, we have eachother and I promise you that I will better myself." That brought a wan smile to her mother's lips. It melted off her face with the next question that Orenda asked. "What was Aunite's name?"

Their was a glistening in her mother's eyes. "Tahlizia, dearest."

* * *

A couple of years later...

She kept her promise to her mother, who had died about six months ago. It happened without warning. One minute they were sitting there talking and the next her mothers eyes widened as if in shock and the las t breath rattled out of her. She had been rushed to the nearest Med-center. By the time they got her there Orenda knew it was already too late. But just prior to her collapse she had asked Orenda to go and see if she could find anything on her Aunt. Her mother said she had tried several times prior to Orenda's birth, but was always rebuffed before she made it further than two steps up.

Well Orenda hadn't been stopped before ascending the stairs. She even got in a tour group. But she found her feet take her off in another direction from the group after a short time. Once she got to where she was going she was struck by the slience. Then there was a gong that sounded somewhere near a bier in the middle of a room. It wasnt a loud sound, only seemd so because it rent the silence like a thunder and drew ones attention to the bier.

Her shock at what she saw should have been felt by all present but they were rather absorbed in the ceremony and even failed to notice the veral denial she made as she truned tearfulled eyes and ran blindly the route that had brought her to the funeral in the first place. She continued retracing the path she had followed into the Temple. She did not quit until she reached the body, for there was no life left, of her mother. "Oh, mama, Auntie...you felt her go didn't you? She took you with her didn't she?" She whispered at the corpse that was identical to the one that now lay as a pile of smoldering ash in gthe gardens of the Jedi Temple.


	14. Ani and Obe meet SWTOR

They had materialized again. This time while I was bitching about traffic on the way home, luckily I did not have to pick up the kids as my parents had come into town for the weekend and had offered to take them until Monday. Which had made my day of course, that would mean an entire two and a half days of playing SWTOR without interruptions and no annoying TV in my ear. Woot. But now I would have to change my plans to entertain the two Knights. "Really guys, you have the most horrible sense of timing."

"Naw it's perfect." Anakin piped in.

"No it's not. My buddies and I have an Op planned and now I have to entertain the two of you."

"Oh, sorry." Obi-wan said.

"Don't worry 'bout it Obi-wan. I just hope you can stomach the tele…uh holo for two or more hours."

We got home and I got us all fed. I set them up with the Harry Potter series just to avoid the questions that might be fired at me if I put in anything else. Though I am pretty sure that Obi-wan's eyes had caught the one season of Clone Wars that I own, he wisely said nothing.

I settled in to my computer and started up the voice server first. "Good Evening Gentlemen and Lady, I see you got the party started without me…no no I am logging now. Just had some unexpected visitors…what?...oh no they are suitably entertained while we rock this."

It wasn't hard to tell that they were more interested in the partial conversation going on my end of the computer. "Do we need to remind Pey not to AOE the shields tonight?" I laughed at a response as Anakin came over and lipped to me. "Fresher?"

"Around the corner behind me on the left."

We were in the middle of taking out the tanks when I finally realized that not only was Anakin standing behind me but Obi-wan as well. It was that same moment that we wiped for the third time. "Really Pey! I am very cognizant of where my AOEs are and I am moving them right now just to be absolutely certain…yeah I made the door, waiting for rez. Be right back."

I turned my char and stood. Moving around the gape mouthed Jedi to go to the bathroom. When I came back and they were still standing there I said, "yes?" in that overly annoyed tone.

Obi-wan stared at me in shock. Anakin just croaked out names. I just raised an eyebrow. "You can't be serious you guys."

"Oh no but he is. We learned of all the skirmishes of that war in Galactic History ma'am and I can guarantee those names are mentioned."

I outright laughed in his face…"so in this reality you should be callin' me Master then. That is a hoot." I sobered up right away though as the rez box popped and I accepted. "Alright my peeps let's do it to it this time." We did and then called it for the night everyone had gotten too irritated with the number of wipes and could all use a break to come back fresh for the next boss fights. I celebrated for getting a couple of pieces of gear that I needed. Then I quickly logged and faced my guests. "So those stuffy reports and all that mentioned just what about my toon?"


End file.
